Pace on Earth

Shout at the Devil

Bill Simmons’ most recent article for ESPN is an in-depth review of his favourite youtube clip. Shortly after reading this I got a message from Jebb from Scotland letting me know he gave me a ‘shout out’ in his press day interview with the Rugby Canada press officer. I found the interview on youtube and it is immediately my favourite youtube clip and it’s getting the Simmons treatment.

Here is the clip and below is my breakdown of the unintended (maybe?) hilarity:

0:20 – Doug Crosse introduces Jebb and Jebb gives us the goofiest grim imaginable. Doug sets him up with a softball question about his confidence. Jebb’s response started “I don’t know if my confidence level…” at which point he could have actually said “…could get any higher” and I would not have been surprised.
1:00 – To Jebb’s credit he actually gave a thoughtful and insightful answer to a question about starting versus coming in off the bench. At the end he says “You don’t want to go out and blow your energy” and I am surprised and disappointed that he didn’t just say “You don’t want to go out and blow your load”.
1:30 – After another (semi)coherent answer in which he didn’t use ‘you know’ once, Jebb is then asked the clearly prompted question “And any shout-outs to people back home?” His response, the shout out heard ‘round the clubhouse, “uh, yeah, just a shout out to, uh, Simon Pacey”. He then forgets his media training and looks straight in the camera and smiles one of the most self-satisfied smiles since, well, the one at the start of the interview. Comedic genius. And just when I thought it couldn’t get any better, Doug adds “alright, the Pacer back in New Brunswick”. The Pacer! Doug Crosse gave me a new nickname! I think I’ll stick with the Big Smooth though, thanks.

As if that all wasn’t enough, Doug then interviews Fast Eddie Fairhurst whose moustache has more game than you could ever imagine. He and Jebb look like they are trying to get a role in the Bang Bros next movie. Movember my ass.
1:38 - Doug starts off with a comment about Eddie’s face – “From the looks of your face it looks like you’ve…” and I was sure he was going to end that sentence with “…been doing gay porn.” The follow-up question was about the honour of captaining the squad and Eddie answered it with the grace and aplomb you would expect from a St. Mike’s boy. All the while, though, I’m positive he was screaming “My face, my face, my beautiful face!” on the inside.
3:05 – In that great Canadian way Doug finds a way to talk about the weather, which apparently may be a factor in the weekend’s game. At that point Eddie looks like he knows the interview may have crossed into snoresville and his eyes start darting around revealing his true thoughts which are, as always, “Where the Bitches at!?!?”.
3:28 – “Cool, thanks Doug”. Ever the Islander…he should have said “Rad bra”.

Pure gold! This absolutely made my day.

Good luck this weekend fellas.

Pace out.

posted by Vitamin S @ 5:29 p.m.