Pace on Earth

Gold Digger

Like most people my age when I was young I gobbled up Archie comics like I gobbled up Gobstoppers. At first it was because Mr. Weatherbee reminded of my elementary shool principal Mr. Burgoyne and I liked Archie's jalopy. As I grew up though it was Betty and Veronica's curves that held my interest. Amazingly, the franchise has continued into the 21st Century and to pique interest they even had Archie choose between his longtime dueling loves, Veronica Lodge and Betty Cooper.

As a youngster I stopped liking Archie because none of the characthers other than Jughead resonated with me. Moose was a dolt, Reggie an asshole and, as a young lover of blondes and hater of bitches, I couldn't understand why Archie couldn't see that Betty was the obvious choice.

So this week, when it was announced that Archie had finally chosen Veronica over Betty, I was initially dismayed. Upon further review though, I am now seeing that Archie is just a pragmatist. Times are tough; best to hitch your wagon to the Lodge family fortune. Betty always takes you back so you could always propose a side-wager to her if things get stale with the uppity b..etty. Just beware if she starts singing We Want Prenup!

Pace out.

posted by Vitamin S @ 5:47 p.m.