Pace on Earth

Funny how time slips away

35 years is a long time, there is no two ways about it. It's just slightly longer then I can remember. Thankfully other people are here to remind me. Namely my Godparents, Malcolm and Nancy MacAfee, who celebrated their 35th wedding anniversary today. No two people outside of my family have done more for me and for this they have all of my respect and much love. Nancy has been my surrogate mother from the day I was born and takes more genuine joy in watching her boys (and girl) play rugby then anyone. And any of you who know Malcolm would agree that it is an incredible woman who can put up with him. As for Mac, well, he gave me my all time favourite nickname, Simon "Police Department" Pacey (my initials are SPDP). Besides that he has at different times in my life been my teammate, coach, mentor, financial advisor, spiritual advisor, fishing buddy, drinking buddy and role model. More then anything though he has been a constant source of amusement/confusion and for their anniversary I would like to share with you my top ten Malcolm MacAfee-isms.

Here goes:
10) On Drinking - "I'd rather have a bottle in front of me then a frontal labotomy"
9) On Aim - "He couldn't hit a cow in the ass with a shovel"
8)On Generosity - "He'd give away his asshole and shit through his teeth"
7)On Selfishness - "He wouldn't piss in your ear if your brain was on fire"
6)On Perserverence - "He would swim through a river of shit and take a mouthful every stroke"
5)On Poverty - "He couldn't buy a sick whore and orange"
4)On the Sweet Science - "She can't wrestle but you should see her box"
3)On Randomness - "If my Aunt had nuts she'd be my Uncle"
2) On Philosophy - "Nothing is never or always"
And the number 1 Mac-ism is:
1)On Good Beer - "It's like an Angel pissing in your mouth"
There are hundreds of others and every once in awhile he'll pull out a new one. Pure hilarity.

Scotty's birthday is suspiciously close to their wedding date but I feel no guilt in pointing that out; there are countless stories like that and few have such an enduring bond. Congratulations Godparents

Police Department Pacey

posted by Vitamin S @ 11:18 p.m.