Every Picture Tells a Story
My 2005 Picture of the Year:
With the New Year looming I thought it time to share with you some of my favourite memories of the year that was. I'm starting today with my picture of the year. There are other pictures out there with much more personal meaning and much more artistic merit but this one wins it purely for the giggle factor. I love, absolutely love, this picture.
The picture is full of humanity. For those of you that have played the game know that this guy is on another level; almost otherworldly. This picture proves that although he may be able to hit a 6-iron 230 yards from a bunker to the the flag he can't pull off a half decent high-five when under pressure. Now to put it in context he did just make an impossible looping 60 foot putt from the fringe, under pressure. It was his pure excitement at making the putt that screwed him for the high five. He wore his polish off and looked like a rookie. Which is another part of the human factor. This guy has won millions and millions of dollars but can still lose it like a kid when he surprises himself. You have to respect a competitor like that. I can relate to it too...I once holed a chip from the rough golfing at Fundy with the boys. I took my shirt off and did the airplane. And while Tiger's putt was worth millions I only had Normy's standing $5 and a hot dog offer to get excited about. There is always time to be a kid again and this picture embodies that well. And at least he didn't do "the pound"; that's bush league...
More to come...
Pace out
Labels: Picture
Takin' care of Christmas
Twas the night before Christmas when all through the Embassy not a creature was stirring not even the Beast;
the stockings were hung by the chimney with care with two storied Cups on the mantle right there;
the children were nestled all snug in their beds but not in this house because we don't have kids;
and Normy in his hoody, and I in my cap had just settled in for our Christmas eve lap (dance, at the Northstar); and so on......
Christmas is upon us....my shopping is done but my baking never got off the ground. I've decided that's what the two days after Christmas are for. I just have to run to the Irving to get Normy his gift; Dill Pickle chips and the latest copy of Teen People.
I hope everyone is happy and "at home" somewhere.
Merry Christmas!
Santa Clau
Meli Kalikimaka
"...is the the thing to say on a bright Hawaiin Christmas day" My old rugby coach was Australian and used to tell me about Christmas on the Sunshine Coast. They would have a bbq on the beach for Christmas dinner. How sweet would that be? But traditions must vary around the world for the holidays; for example, I've always wondered if the song
White Christmas is sung by carolers in Hawaii? Or if kids in the Southern Hemisphere think Santa Claus lives at the South Pole? Do they have pine Christmas trees in South Africa and is Santa's sleigh pulled by wildebeests? I could go on and on....is the Boxing Day sale universal? Anywho...
I kind of consider the 20th of December to be the real start of the Christmas season; meaning I don't start my shopping until after that date. I also have made a pact with myself not to drink The Nog before that day after last year when I drank it from the end of November til Christmas and ballooned to 230! And the 20th is when all of those displaced people start to arrive home so I can run into them and forget their names. "Oh hey.....you, good to see you!" "Merry Christmas Whats-yer-face". Oh well what can you do? Don't stay mad; it's the holidays.
So I started my Christmas shopping in earnest today, although without much luck. I never know what to buy but I'm farily confident that I will not end up doing my shopping at the Irving, which Normy tells me is an Egyptian tradition. Word is his sister's really enjoyed those plastic bags full of chips and magazines. I know what I'm getting him this year anyways.
Aloha
Funny how time slips away
35 years is a long time, there is no two ways about it. It's just slightly longer then I can remember. Thankfully other people are here to remind me. Namely my Godparents, Malcolm and Nancy MacAfee, who celebrated their 35th wedding anniversary today. No two people outside of my family have done more for me and for this they have all of my respect and much love. Nancy has been my surrogate mother from the day I was born and takes more genuine joy in watching her boys (and girl) play rugby then anyone. And any of you who know Malcolm would agree that it is an incredible woman who can put up with him. As for Mac, well, he gave me my all time favourite nickname, Simon "Police Department" Pacey (my initials are SPDP). Besides that he has at different times in my life been my teammate, coach, mentor, financial advisor, spiritual advisor, fishing buddy, drinking buddy and role model. More then anything though he has been a constant source of amusement/confusion and for their anniversary I would like to share with you my top ten Malcolm MacAfee-isms.
Here goes:
10) On Drinking - "I'd rather have a bottle in front of me then a frontal labotomy"
9) On Aim - "He couldn't hit a cow in the ass with a shovel"
8)On Generosity - "He'd give away his asshole and shit through his teeth"
7)On Selfishness - "He wouldn't piss in your ear if your brain was on fire"
6)On Perserverence - "He would swim through a river of shit and take a mouthful every stroke"
5)On Poverty - "He couldn't buy a sick whore and orange"
4)On the Sweet Science - "She can't wrestle but you should see her box"
3)On Randomness - "If my Aunt had nuts she'd be my Uncle"
2) On Philosophy - "Nothing is never or always"
And the number 1 Mac-ism is:
1)On Good Beer - "It's like an Angel pissing in your mouth"
There are hundreds of others and every once in awhile he'll pull out a new one. Pure hilarity.
Scotty's birthday is suspiciously close to their wedding date but I feel no guilt in pointing that out; there are countless stories like that and few have such an enduring bond. Congratulations Godparents
Police Department Pacey
(You're a) Strange Animal
For the ladies:
I have a basic theory about men and women that through the years has gotten to me into some trouble with the fairer sex. Basically I think you are all f-king crazy. The flipside of the coin is that I readily admit that
we are all assholes. But don't walk away mad, this isn't the theory of a jaded single man; it's just biology. We are different animals and to you we are assholes because you don't understand us. And you're f-king nuts because I just don't understand you. I love you and I need you but you're crazy.
I recently came across a joke that pretty much sums it up. This joke should be put on an altar surrounded by soft light and organ music. Here you go:
HER SIDE OF THE STORY He was in an odd mood when I got to the bar, I thought it might have been because I was a bit late but he didn't say anything much about it. The conversation was quite slow going so I thought we should go off somewhere more intimate so we could talk more privately. We went to this restaurant and he was STILL acting a bit funny.
I tried to cheer him up and started to wonder whether it was me or something else. I asked him, and he said no. But I wasn't really sure. So anyway, in the cab on the way back to his house, I said that I love him and he just put his arm around me.
I didn't know what the hell that meant because you know he doesn't say it back or anything. We finally got back to his place and I was wondering if he was going to dump me! So I tried to ask him about it but he just switched on the TV. Reluctantly, I said I was going to go to sleep. Then after about 10 minutes, he joined me and we had sex.
But, he still seemed really distracted, so afterwards I just wanted to leave but I just cried myself to sleep. I dunno, I just don't know what he thinks anymore. I mean, do you think he's met someone else???
HIS SIDE OF THE STORY
Habs lost. Felt Tired. Got laid thoughGood Story; True Story
Pace out.
What if God was one of us?
On a regular Monday evening at the Embassy I became suspicious. After dinner, in passing, Normy asked me if our friend Adrienne had her baby. I told him no and he then said "I wonder when she's due? I better check.". I didn't think anything more of it until I got to work this morning. There was an email informing me that Adrienne had her baby daughter at 2:16am after a short 2.5 hour labour. That's when it hit me...."I better check". Normy checked his schedule, realized Adrienne was due and said "make it so". And so it was.....Congratulations Dreams.
Get outta my head Tarry. I'm on to you...
to be continued...
Christmas in Hollis
Things are actually starting to feel like Christmas now;
It's a Wonderful Life was on last night and now I can spend the next couple of weeks making people wonder what the hell "Zuzu's Petals!!" means. If you know, you know; if you don't know watch the movie. Jimmy Stewart pulls drunk off better then most actors and Donna Reed is H-O-T. Sure she's been dead for 20 years but time stands still. "
Remember, no man is a failure who has friends"
Indeed the house is now abuzz with Christmas. I've started my Christmas baking thanks to some nice recipes courstesy of one Mr. Gillis; the Beast has stocked the bar with the traditional Christmas tequila; the Jester has been doing push-ups at every commercial break to ensure that his pecs will be able to dance for the carolers; and Stormer has been dillegently working on his annual Christmas rap, this year entitled
Christmas in Hammertown. I can't wait till he sings it to us Christmas night. Sammy Samilton will be making a return as the beatbox. Only 13 more sleeps!
Mind Blogling fact -
Whatever gets you through the night, the title of a previous post was also, of course, the title of a hit song by John Lennon. Turns out that song was the Billboard no. 1 song when North and I were born (nice research Clau). Is that ironic or just a coincidence?
Whatever gets you through the night...
If freeze can become frozen why can't squeeze become squozen? Think about it....Freshly squozen juice? (
Acorn Jackson)
I bet John Lennon would have found that funny and therefore I miss John Lennon. Oh yeah and the music too. It would be pretty cool to shake up the world. Imagine that....
Cult of Personality
I caught a nice glimpse of democracy at work tonight. I was at the Fredericton Inn and unbeknownst to me I had accidentally walked into a Federal political rally. Stephen Harper and his handlers were in town to pump up the troops for the upcoming election. Now, I really hold no political affiliation and I'm sure I would have been struck with the same feelings if I was watching Paul Martin strut around but I couldn't help but question the integrity of these rallies. It seems less like an effective means of a politician delivering his message to a community and much more like a scripted media event. The folks that show up aren't there so much to listen to ideas and opinions as they are to make noise for the cameras. I seriously wonder what Mr. Harper could have said to bring silence over the crowd. "My first act as PM would be to lower the GST to 5%" - "RAAAAAAHHHHHHH!"; "My second act as PM would be to legalize beastiality" - "RAAAAAAHHHHHH!". I really don't even think they are listening. A couple of nights ago I saw someone on tv deliver the pull-away-hand-through-the-hair-fake-shake and I when I saw Stephen walking through the lobby I flashed to the tv coverage of me pulling that off on him during the glad-handing. Now THAT would be good tv! I gotta do that more...that's gold.
Anywho, I don't mean to condemn the system; it's the best we've got and ideas absolutely need to be debated; I just hate the bullshit. It's obviously not feasible but the picture below is really the only true democracy - direct democracy. And FYI politicos - I would raise my hand for any party basing their platform on the High Noon Sex Bell.
Jokerman
"
Standing on the water, casting your breath while the eyes of the idol with the iron head are glowing; Distant ships sailing in through the mist, you were born with a snake in both of your fists while a hurricane was blowing" Jokerman - Bob Dylan
I was listening to this song this morning and let my mind wander with the words then spent the next ten minutes painting the picture. Dylan at his best can make your head hurt the same way spending too much time contemplating the cosmos can; like freezebrain. Genius is just slightly beyond my comprehension. Gotta respect it though.
This morning I could nearly leave the front door of the Embassy to stand on the water of the St. John. We've had a wet, wet fall and the river is at Spring levels...very, very strange. It's getting cold too so it should be interesting if it starts to freeze at this level. Could be a really wet spring.
December is upon up the holiday festivities are starting to gear up. Lots of folks coming home for Christmas so it should be fun-filled. To gear up for the holidays I have been making nightly trips to the mall to spread sale rumors and then sprinting from store to store. It's funny to watch the pushing and shoving start and it's good exercise too. Holiday shoppers are crazy! It's just slightly beyond my comprehension; proving once again that crazy is just around the corner from genius.
Pace out
